Happy Epmas frm Plurb! (not yet rated)

Moderator: Littlabit

Post Reply
User avatar
Posts: 89
Joined: Sun Jun 01, 2008 7:37 pm

Happy Epmas frm Plurb! (not yet rated)

Post by iyeni » Wed Dec 23, 2009 4:43 pm

Twas the raid before Epmass and all through the glen
Not a Ranger was stirring.. Not even a Ren.
The support hose was hanging, In the old furnace room
And Kcii was sleep walking in his Fruit-of-the-looms.

The rest of CN were all scratching their heads
Trying to figure out how Fidelis was once again dead.
While Silly was sneezing and Jumjam passed gas
Tchein feigned death while Derdarr got trashed.

When out of the zone, there came a loud sound
And Jhereg fell over face first on the ground
Balzzo ran over and tripped on a log
Linfalas panicked and turned into a dog.

Ommina ran off as scared as can be
While Joatmon started casting Illusion Tree.
Glauri was sobbing She didn’t want to die!
Nlannie said “Stop staring at my butt, Im a GUY!”

The raid was a disaster and no points were assessed
At least it stopped early and for that we were blessed.
But something was moving out there in the night.
Something eerie, strange and definitely not right.

I looked up in the sky and what did appear
But 4 mangy goats and a guy drinking beer.
He was decked out in Dockers, T-Shirt and Shoes
And smelled like a combo of Marlboro, Polo and booze.

He tried to land on a house but crashed through the roof
And I knew in a second it must be St. Goof.
He crawled out the hole that he made at the top
And rolled to the ground with a sickening plop.

The goats crawled out next and fell to the ground
While Goofy shook out of his pants something brown.
For minutes they all wandered around in the dirt
And Goofy wanted to make sure that no goats were hurt.

He checked out each goat and called with a bark
Hey Rogain, Hey BenGay, Hey Buttwipe, Hey Fark!
They all wandered over as he finished his call
And he checked them for hernia’s as a result of the fall.

His entire exam was all crazy and weird
It was a sick blur of hooves, beer, goat poop and beard.
The sight was disgusting and I nearly threw up,
When he walked over to me and said “Two goats one cup”.

He said “I’m here bringing presents and tidings of Joy”
“Now get on my lap and I’ll give you… a toy..”
I screamed like a banshee and ran far far away
For I would not be getting herpes or head lice that day.

And Off in the distance, I swear I could hear
His voice in an echo, quite loud and clear
“I’m out of booze and these presents do suck
Merry Epmass to all… and to all WTF”

User avatar
Mindless Lemming
Posts: 214
Joined: Thu Mar 31, 2005 9:53 am
Location: Vazaelle

Re: Happy Epmas frm Plurb! (not yet rated)

Post by Nlannie » Wed Dec 23, 2009 5:01 pm

that may be the best thing i've ever read.

User avatar
The blond sage
Posts: 4885
Joined: Wed Sep 15, 2004 1:43 pm
Location: Ontario

Re: Happy Epmas frm Plurb! (not yet rated)

Post by Silly » Wed Dec 23, 2009 5:05 pm

Hahahaha, I'm speechless. /applause

Ride a cowboy, save a horse
Posts: 4796
Joined: Fri Jun 10, 2005 7:33 pm
Location: Bullhead City, AZ, USA

Re: Happy Epmas frm Plurb! (not yet rated)

Post by Goofydoofy » Wed Dec 23, 2009 5:32 pm

I'm not much for reading and all, but this shit is an award winning masterpiece!
Level 110 Druid, Level 109 Enchanter, Level 110 Paladin
Drinal - Maelin Starpyre Server

User avatar
Posts: 974
Joined: Wed Jun 04, 2008 1:41 am
Location: In your mind creating those bad bad thoughts

Re: Happy Epmas frm Plurb! (not yet rated)

Post by oneyedranger » Thu Dec 24, 2009 1:00 am

Ep is a literary ummm, well he writes funny stuff.

Posts: 213
Joined: Tue Nov 03, 2009 4:58 pm

Re: Happy Epmas frm Plurb! (not yet rated)

Post by FaeveeAngel » Thu Dec 24, 2009 8:34 pm

Glorious Absolutely Stinking GLORIOUS

Posts: 140
Joined: Sun May 03, 2009 7:31 am

Re: Happy Epmas frm Plurb! (not yet rated)

Post by Renaern » Fri Dec 25, 2009 3:18 am

Happy EP-Mas One and All! :lol:

User avatar
Posts: 174
Joined: Sat Jul 03, 2004 3:56 am
Location: Louisiana

Re: Happy Epmas frm Plurb! (not yet rated)

Post by Katniah » Fri Dec 25, 2009 3:01 pm

I thoroughly enjoyed that! Brilliant, makes me long for more days in EQ.


User avatar
Posts: 125
Joined: Mon May 18, 2009 7:18 pm
Location: Blaine Minnesota

Re: Happy Epmas frm Plurb! (not yet rated)

Post by Lickitys » Thu Dec 31, 2009 12:25 pm

Thanks Ep. That was a fun read.
108th Level Druid of Tunare

Post Reply