blue light comedy

Moderator: Littlabit

Post Reply
User avatar
Should wash his hands after playing with poison ivy.
Posts: 407
Joined: Mon Jun 02, 2008 5:15 pm
Location: Closest fridge with a cold beer.

blue light comedy

Post by tauaunt » Sun Jul 26, 2009 2:13 pm

Great sayings by police officers..... these were taken off actual police car videos around the country:

#15 "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."

#14 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them
a while."

# 13 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your Birth Certificate a worthless document."

#12 "Don't run... you'll just go to jail tired.."

#11 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet
that'll be chasing you."

#10 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want
to on the ticket, huh?"

#9 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention
I'm the shift supervisor?"

#8 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., Don't do it again, or you'll get another ticket."

#7 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was
Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

#6 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat
cotton candy, corn dogs and step in monkey crap."

#5 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

#4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"

#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many
tickets as we can."

#2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker is a personal friend of yours. So you know
someone who can post your bail."


#1 "You're right, Ma'am. We don't give tickets to pretty women. Sign here.
No, I am not a pally, BUT I did stay in a Holiday Inn Express last night!!

The Musical Monk
Posts: 107
Joined: Sat Feb 07, 2009 10:35 am

Re: blue light comedy

Post by Ironbeans » Mon Jul 27, 2009 12:04 pm


True Story,
Deputy pulls fellow over for not wearing seat belt, and 12 over the posted limit. Deputy approaches car, asks the fellow if he had his seatbelt on while he was driving, Fellow says of course officer! Deputy asks him if his car handled ok in the turns. Fellow replies "quite well why do you ask?" The deputy points to the seatbelt that had been hastily buckled, it ran through the steering wheel of the car.


Post Reply