Lawyers asking the WRONG Question!

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Lawyers asking the WRONG Question!

Post by Saphirone » Wed Feb 08, 2006 8:39 am

Why Lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren't prepared for the answer:

In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand, a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes I do know you Mr. Williams. I've know you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The Lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones do you know the defense attorney?"

She again replied, "Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women, one of them was your wife. Yes, I know him." The defense attorney almost died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench, and in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you asks her if she knows me, I'll throw your sorry a$$'s in jail for contempt."

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RE: Lawyers asking the WRONG Question!

Post by Hylea » Wed Feb 08, 2006 9:05 am

hahahaha I love it.....too funny.....

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RE: Lawyers asking the WRONG Question!

Post by Lachaise » Wed Feb 08, 2006 2:29 pm

No doubt a bonehead lawyer as the first principle of witness examination is never ask a question for which you don't already know the answer... but in this case I think the judge wanted to make sure that his threesome with both counselors didn't come out in court :)
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RE: Lawyers asking the WRONG Question!

Post by Tsekande » Wed Feb 08, 2006 4:13 pm

That's hilarious....I got the printed e-mail of other dumb but true questions that lawyers asked. One's with a defense attorney and an medical examiner.

"Is it possible that Mr. Jones was alive?"


"Did he have a pulse?"


"How could you be so sure?"

"For his brain is in a jar on my desk."

"Could he still be alive, nontheless?"

"Alive and practicing law maybe."
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