Flurg,

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Flurg
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Flurg,

Postby Flurg » Mon Aug 04, 2008 11:02 pm

center>Application for Membership - Outline</center>


Your Main Character

-Name: Flurg, Master of Pain
-Class: Enchanter (as if you already didn’t know mortal…)
-Race: High Elf (and I mean really Supreme High Elf, and not Taco Bell Supreme either)
-Level: Levels? Flurg counts in ‘corpses consumed’ not these ‘levels’ that you speak of.
-Number of AAs: As numerous as the souls that I have crushed.
-Magelo Number (if you have one): I don’t have one, but there is always room for Magelo.
-List which keys and flags you have: Key of Pain, Key of Death, Key of keys to Death and Pain, Key of Pain and Death, Key of Terrible Death (and Pain), Key of Painful Terrible Death and I have a Garage key.
-List your alts on this server (name, level, class): All on this server are alts. The hair on the backs of their twisted bodies stands on end when Flurg, Master of Pain, is near.

A Little Bit About Yourself

-What are a few things you enjoy most about playing EQ? (For example: raiding, grouping, soloing, tradeskilling, exploring, questing, etc) As The Master of Pain, and Embodiment of Pure Evil, I like working on tailoring. Seeing as that I am everyone’s worst nightmare, I scare people to death just being me with my steely gaze and evil smile. This makes it quite hard to do neighborhood banking. Specially when they are running away in abject terror. I also like killing things. A lot. Mostly party members, who die of fear, or heart attacks, right at their computers.

-Tell us some of your short and long term goals for your character. (For example: quests, epic, tradeskills, leveling, AA ability, etc) In the long term, I want to bring death, destruction and a horrid non stop entropy of terror to a wretched world. I want people to feel my weight as I walk across their shoulders, using them only as a stepping stones for my personal gratification, while their pleas for help fall upon my deaf ears. I would yawn as they cry for mercy at my feet. Yes, I could be a guild leader.

-When do you normally play EQ? What is your time zone? I play in all zones. I am everywhere and no where. Except possibly Cincinnati. No one plays in Cincinnati.

-CN generally raids Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Saturdays at 8 pm Eastern Time. Raiding is not required, but we would like to know what % of raids you think you will attend. I will be lurking in the darkness, waiting for my opportunity to strike at all moments. I am always there. Watching. Waiting. Ready to attack. Tuesday is bowling night, so I will be lurking late.

-Please tell us which other guilds you have been a member of and why you chose to leave. I was in Norrathian Vengeance Killer Guys, however I left because the guild crashed in the Andes Mountains and I was forced to kill everyone to survive. (I DID NOT EAT THEIR CORPSES— that is a total lie!). Then I was in Poofus, where I killed everyone, which made it hard to get groups (that was a stupid name for a guild anyways. Poofus. Who ever heard of such a thing). Then I joined Fantasy Awoke (Not Fantasy Awakened, that’s the knock off ‘poor English’ version), but they wouldn’t recognize me as a member. Mostly because I didn’t app or anything. (I just told them I was in their guild. Then I killed them). Then I joined The Harmonicats. And things went well until they realized I didn’t play the harmonica and I was forced to kill them. I think after that I wandered the Old West searching for my Half Brother Danny Caine. No wait. That was the guy in Kung Fu that did that. I once ate a bug tho.

-If you are still a member in another guild, please explain: HA! I wont fall for that one!


Your Experience with CN

-Which members of CN do you know? Have you had a chance to raid or group with us?
I have sworn an oath to the god Van Halen that I will not reveal my connections to CN. Other than to say that they know me. They know my power. They probably are reading this now and cowering in fear. Or are just tired and getting a nap in.
-Why are you applying to CN? Is there a specific reason you chose to apply to our guild?
It calls to me like frightened lost dog in a thunderstorm. Yelp! Yelp! It says. Which is ‘lost dog’ speak for ‘Join CN’. Or it could be ‘I need to pee on this plant’. Or maybe ‘I like lemons’. I don’t know for sure. But its pretty terrifying. Let me tell you. And probably painful.
-Tell us what your goals are for applying. What do you hope to get out of the guild?
I hope to go on a Vision Quest and learn to Wrestle The Chute. No wait. That was Matthew Modine in the movie Vision Quest. Umm… let me see.. oh… Yeah… YOU TELL YOUR KING THAT WILLIAM WALLACE WILL NOT BE RULED AND NOR WILL ANY SCOT WHILE I LIVE!!! .. oh wait… that was Mel Gibson from Braveheart. Ok. Substitute WILLIAM WALLCE with FLURG… and um SCOT with HIGH ELF and um.. ok KING and WHOEVER IS IN CHARGE. Yeah. Double that!
-Have you read the CN Rules and Policies and understand them?
Yeah yeah yeah, don’t eat anybodys corpse. Don’t kill everyone in your party. Stop lurking about. Don’t talk to strangers, and don’t forget to wash behind your ears and what not. I read em… Mom..
Optional Info

-What do you do in real life? I lurk.
-Where are you from? Lurksville. (Its in the mountains. We kind of just stand around.)

-Would you consider traveling to attend annual CN gatherings at various places in North America? Cant you just meet at one place? I mean, even though I am ‘everywhere’ at the same time, it’s a bit hard on the budget to be ‘various places’. One place is just fine. It makes it easier for me to scare the bajeezus out of everyone also.
-What is your favourite colour? (with Canadian spelling) Blurnol. Yeah it’s a color. Oh yeah? I suppose in ‘Canada’ they don’t have Blurnol. Well that’s too bad, cause we got it here in the States like by the freakin ton man! I just threw some away I got so much! Yeah but none for Canadians. They left that little part out of NAFTA. NO BLURNOL FOR THE CANUCKS is what they said. I read it. And you can just look at me sitting on the OTHER side of Niagra falls, on my big ole pile of Blurnol cause I wont be spending my hard earned dollars at your ‘casinos’ either, and I don’t even care that you got a cool flag with a leaf on it. YOU AINT GOT NO BLURNOL!

PS. Im totally serious with this post.

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Re: Flurg,

Postby oneyedranger » Tue Aug 05, 2008 12:10 am

OMG that truly is written in the flavor of only one person. that is funny.

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Oct
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Re: Flurg,

Postby Oct » Tue Aug 05, 2008 2:21 am

I kneel to the Flurg.
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Re: Flurg,

Postby Jaffod » Tue Aug 05, 2008 3:24 am

any relation to The Quon?

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Re: Flurg,

Postby iyeni » Tue Aug 05, 2008 4:34 am

i truely fear The Flurg!!!!!!!!
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Re: Flurg,

Postby Ricola » Tue Aug 05, 2008 5:03 am

I onced grouped with this Flurg and i barley escaped with my life.
he is truely the MOST terrifying prensence I have ever beholdened (Flurg will tell you that it is Beheld but that's how much he sc'rr'd me)

I mean my palms were sweaty after only 2 pulls and I was so frozen with fright that the muscles in my arms were aching. By the time the climatic killing of the rest of the group happened (because the puller was not chain pulling fast enuf) my heart nearly beat ot of my chest.


Ps
have fun with that response Flurggy :P

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Re: Flurg,

Postby tauaunt » Tue Aug 05, 2008 5:38 am

ROFLMAO, One of the best apps I have ever seen. Not sure if I want to group with you or run like hell from ya though. Cya ingame.
No, I am not a pally, BUT I did stay in a Holiday Inn Express last night!!

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Re: Flurg,

Postby Melinia.Spellteaser » Tue Aug 05, 2008 8:03 am

A chanter after my own heart! ^^
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Re: Flurg,

Postby Ommina » Tue Aug 05, 2008 10:30 am

That said, and at the risk of spoiling the fun, I really can't post it internally without the level, AA, and "present guild" responses.

Yeah yeah, I know. I'm no fun at all.
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Re: Flurg,

Postby Jaffod » Tue Aug 05, 2008 12:28 pm

I would agree to this, Ommina is no fun

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Re: Flurg,

Postby Flurg » Tue Aug 05, 2008 4:45 pm

I see how it is. Levels and AA’s. Let me explain:

When Appendix and Cysto (of Appotus Skidmarkious) challenged me to a duel using only roots and tufts of wolf fur as weapons did I say no? Not a chance! When Rogaine and Neeber (of Unlicensed Pharmacists) attacked me in my sleep with what appeared to be a Rutabega, did I just roll over? Never! When Patrick Swayze kicked that guy in the head in Roadhouse really really hard, was I there? Of course not! But that didn’t stop me! For I am Flurg, Master of Pain!

I have crossed this land and tasted the innards of my enemy. (They taste like innards, believe it or not). I have rained fire down upon them. I have smote them. I have signed them up for the Columbia House CD club. Yes I am evil.
Why? Because that is what I do! I am the Embodiment of Pure Evil! As much as I would like to sit around and play Skeeball all day, I cannot. Evil doesn’t rest. It doesn’t sleep. It doesn’t play Skeeball. At least not well. It hunts its prey like Lenny Nurmanski hunted Economy Size Bags Cheeze Doodles in 3rd grade. Its relentless. Its like The Terminator, cept without the really cool metal stuff or electronics. Or special effects. Or Sarah Connor. Ok… its not like The Terminator at all. But it would be if it could and that should strike fear deep into your heart! Or bosom if you have one!

And do you think its fun to be an outcast that is feared by everyone? Have you ever tried to purchase a Hostess individually wrapped fruit pie from someone writhing in terror? Or gone for a nice dinner, only to have the entire establishment run out into the street in a cold sweat, screaming? Its not entirely all fun, believe me. Many times I have to order take-out. And, of course, a loan application can take days, if not weeks under those conditions. And Oh, sure, there are people that say stuff like “Be Nicer!” and “Make Friends!” and “Stop stabbing me in the head!” but a lot of good that does. It leaves you alone. Empty. And usually with someone that’s been stabbed in the head.

SO when you ask my Level, AA’s and affiliation, realize that deep down. Past the hardened exterior that kills for sport and has no feeling, past my Evil Spleen and Evil Pancreas, and Evil Gall Bladder, I am a true Patriot that is following his inner child, who just happens to be Chucky…

Flurg

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Re: Flurg,

Postby Win » Tue Aug 05, 2008 4:58 pm

I can vouch that Flurg, Master of Lame, does in fact owe me money.

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Re: Flurg,

Postby Oct » Tue Aug 05, 2008 5:06 pm

Man, you're going to kill me if you keep making me luh-mao...
but at least I will die laughing. And you will probably be laughing, too, master of pain.
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Re: Flurg,

Postby Maluvian » Tue Aug 05, 2008 7:17 pm

i cant take this app seriously. i mean, come on. we all know wood elves are the master race. Q looks at us and says 'woah, i'm not messing with that'. plz~
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Re: Flurg,

Postby Sevex » Tue Aug 05, 2008 9:05 pm

I can't take this app seriously until you provide the information politely requested by one of our officers.

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Re: Flurg,

Postby Woldar » Wed Aug 06, 2008 9:27 am

What is Flurg? I can't be afraid if the flurg is level 40. I have a little bear that could take on the flurg if that was the case while I eat my forgaged roots.

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Re: Flurg,

Postby oneyedranger » Wed Aug 06, 2008 9:55 am

While I fear Flurg, let it be known that a video was found on youtube of Flurg putting man makeup on and dancing to duran duran. Now that stuff scares the living hell out of me!

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Re: Flurg,

Postby Melinia.Spellteaser » Wed Aug 06, 2008 12:33 pm

oneyedranger wrote:While I fear Flurg, let it be known that a video was found on youtube of Flurg putting man makeup on and dancing to duran duran. Now that stuff scares the living hell out of me!

oo this I GOT TO SEE!!!!! :teeth:
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Re: Flurg,

Postby Jhereg » Wed Aug 06, 2008 12:43 pm

As Ommina pointed out, this won't be voted on until the numbers are added. However it is a fun thread so even if he's not really trying to apply its some amusement.

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Re: Flurg,

Postby Nyrial » Wed Aug 06, 2008 4:13 pm

Jhereg wrote:As Ommina pointed out, this won't be voted on until the numbers are added. However it is a fun thread so even if he's not really trying to apply its some amusement.


Yes, as a matter of fact I was laughing at the Canuck that sits across from me about not having any Blurnol. Very amusing (for me anyway)

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Re: Flurg,

Postby Flurg » Wed Aug 06, 2008 5:07 pm

I would love to provide my level and AA count. I know its way up there. WAY up there. In the nosebleed section. But unfortunately, I never learned to read numbers in school. Alas, I am numeriliterate. Sure, I did fine on letters, the alphabet, spelling. But I was sick the day they went over numbers and totally missed out. All I see when I look at numbers is squiggly lines, L’s that are drawn poorly and tadpoles. Its sad, but it’s something that I now must live with.

Of course, CN is a caring guild. I know they wont hold me back because of a single flaw that I cannot overcome. A terrible curse that I live with every single day. I know they will see it in their hearts to look past my disability, albeit a stupid one, and move my app in for a vote. It is something that I have been waiting for since I was Squiggly Line Tadpole years old…

Flurg

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Re: Flurg,

Postby Melinia.Spellteaser » Wed Aug 06, 2008 5:32 pm

Yes CN is a very carrying guild that can look over flaws... I personally have many...
I love a good roleplayer... but at the end of the day... you can role play and answer simple questions. :? The questions are there for a reason...
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Re: Flurg,

Postby Candeys Treats » Thu Aug 07, 2008 1:44 am

hmmm..interesting...not very informing but interesting !
i can be quite charming if i'm not mezzing around !

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Re: Flurg,

Postby Oct » Thu Aug 07, 2008 1:50 am

I don't think you understand the type of mind we're dealing with. It will answer simple questions, but the answers are in a dialect beyond our understanding. Only it understands its meaning. It gets to be a hold up at times... but I just tune it out anyway and listen to the music in my head.

Also, don't confuse 'roleplayer' with 'looney.' Nobody said it was roleplaying.
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